Dear Reader, I Repeat: Pay AttentionIn my first post about the art of giving gifts, I told a tale on myself. I wrote about a simple gift - given to me by a near stranger – a gift subtle and powerful enough to spin me into full blown infatuation. I explained that the gift in question – a little bouquet of peach-toned roses - mimicked a flower I wore when I met the man who eventually gave me the present. The fact that he remembered the rose behind my ear a year later, and when we met again handed me a dozen identical blossoms, knocked me for total loop.Commenting on my post, a reader responded: “So the secret is peach-colored roses. Thanks for the inside information!” On reading the comment, my immediate response was, “D’oh! Men!!!” Okay, so my knee-jerk sexist response did nothing to further the cause of better gift-giving, but I had to wonder how he had managed to miss everything I wrote besides “peach-colored” and “roses”.So I say to him, “Yes Leonard, the secret to giving me a gift 20 years ago was peach colored roses.” But that said, one woman’s blindingly romantic rose may be another woman’s prosaic poison ivy. There is no one-size-fits-all present. Everyone’s taste is distinct. If anyone, male or female wants to give a gift that truly hits the mark, they need to pay attention to the target of their gifting.In the case of Carlo, my observant Italian friend, we spoke only briefly when we first met, but he was interested enough to remember the color of the flower in my hair, and rekindled the feeling of our first meeting with the bouquet he later gave me. The next time you have a floral gift to give, a bit of reflection and observation will set you in the right direction. Does this person dress in sharp, chic clothes? Here is a candidate for a simple, sophisticated arrangement. Have you seen her reading romance novels? Does she adore Jane Austen? A bouquet of old-fashioned roses or lilacs will do the trick.Is his home or office done in stark mid-century Modern or antique Asian? Orchids, my friend, send orchids.Without the clue of a flower behind my ear, Carlo would have had to conjecture carefully from other signals to give a gift as moving as the one he presented to me. But those signals come through loud and clear for all those interested enough to listen and pay close attention.

On my list of “Most Romantic Gifts, Ever” the top contender is a small bunch of peach-colored roses, still in their convenience-store plastic sleeve.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m hardly a cheap date - I enjoy luxe goodies as much as the next girl. But this little bunch of flowers had me weak in the knees; not for their value, but for the thought behind this particular bouquet. The roses, a gift from a visiting Italian, were presented to me on the third day of a week-long visit from this fellow. We had met at a friend’s party the year before, and had chatted only briefly.

The following year, Carlo found himself on his way to California and asked if he could see me. I was interested, but I wasn’t sure how much. He wined and dined me on those first two days, and I chalked up his avid attention to generic Italian-male behavior. That is, until day three and the aforementioned posies.

We met before dinner that evening and he presented me with the roses. As we sat sipping our wine, I had a sudden realization -“These roses are the same color as the one I was wearing in my hair when we met”. Carlo looked me right in the eye and said simply, “I know”. And with that, the lightning bolt struck. From that moment, I was totally gaga, a mushy, smitten puddle of goo. This simple act told me that this man had noticed me, really noticed me, and a year later still held our first meeting clearly in his mind.

And that, dear reader, is the first crucial step in the art of gift giving. A good gift tells the recipient that you know them. The ideal present is anything but generic; it reflects the true tastes and interests of the giftee. And in order to find that gift, all you need to do is pay attention. That, or do some expert sleuthing…

To be continued